Questionable Citizenship?

Senator Dylan Cockatiel also appreciates the importance of sunflower seeds. As president, I would hope that you would be interested in ensuring that all birds receive the most appropriate treats. And plenty of them! I am beginning to wonder, however, if you are truly an American citizen. This is based on your less than perfect support of the No Bird Left Unscritched bill. I've heard you might have been born in New Mexico. A Concerned Citizen

Dear Concerned Citizen: I can assure you that I am as American as Old Glory herself.  New Mexico is, in fact, a state within the United States, just as American as Ohio or Florida.  Many people are under the mistaken impression that New Mexico is a foreign country, and I place the blame for their ignorance at the door of our corrupt left/right wing parties who've shackled themselves to special interests at the expense of this nation's children's education.

Senator Cockatiel and I have discussed the importance of variety in the seed diet many times.  He and I are in complete agreement on the matter, and I am proud to work with him.

More on the Millet in Every Dish Protocol

My constituent Sam Macaw would prefer sunflower seeds be substituted rather than millet. So that would make it the Sunflower Seeds in Every Dish protocol.  At her advanced age, millet is entirely too tiny for her arthritic feet, so she considers it to be prejudicial to our large age-challenged population to include millet in this bill. Surely all good Americans (and other species from other countries) can agree on sunflower seeds.

Thank you for your insight into what is a very important part of the No Bird Left Unscritched bill.  As you know, I am in favor of whatever you pay me to favor, and this certainly includes sunflower seeds for those species of more advanced age.  I myself am of advanced age as compared to Justin Beiber, and I can certainly understand the difficulty of picking up tiny seeds.

In the interest of fairness to all citizens in this great country I will be proposing an amendment to the No Head Left Unscritched bill that will allow a sunflower seed exemption for those who qualify.  In fact, I already have an appointment with the CEO of Acme Sunflower Seeds, Inc., Ltd., to discuss the feasibility of a long-term study proposing exemptions for special interest parties.

No Bird Left Unscritched

Do you (and Charli) support the Millet in Every Dish protocol as presented by D. Cockatiel in the No Bird Left Unscritched bill? 

As you know, cockatiels hold a special place in my heart.  The No Bird Left Unscritched bill was originally designed to include all birds, as I'm sure you know.  However, by the time special interest groups were done with it, it resembles nothing so much as a piece of newspaper on the bottom of the cage.

Millet scarcity is rampant in this country, and I believe it is time we stop pretending it's not a problem.  Our nation can only be as strong as our most vulnerable citizens.  You can depend on me to fight for the right of all citizens, no matter their color or skin covering.

Thank you for your interest in my stance on the issues.